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For Cedar

by eleanor murray

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1.
Today 03:56
today, what beauty today found in gold leaves, in loosening grip on the reins of the wind, so that the leaves can fly i woke in a house of a friend under blue blanket, with my heart pounding but the first thing i saw i saw was light swirling with tornadoes downtown i feel for ripe fruit at the market drag home bags of heavy apples though they were bruised it took me three hours to get home daylight savings lended me the time
2.
Julie 03:53
Julia, take my guitar rest your head on his shoulder don’t be scared to let me go i’ll learn to love what i can’t have baby, light my wings with water you’re more than desire i only feel what i am now julie, i can’t find jealousy think i left it outside it’s only that i saw that picture who’d know that i’d feel love maybe, maybe i might love him either or i feel love three babes asleep on the floor all found their piece of the boards nothing is mine, nothing’s his i felt the night find the light for this
3.
Walk Home 04:12
black water stretch into black sky from the bridge it’s a universe on the edge of infinity a blue sign reflecting “the oysters here are prime” with the arm of a boy and the boardwalk i couldn’t really complain the oil on the water and a wavering jellyfish looked like the death of a star the sound of my feet on the pavement i don’t want to ever get home but i know once a block away it’ll seem like i’m so far away and home never looked so warm
4.
if you sail away today i’ll pack my bags in the morning if you saddle up this way i’ll leave my town in the morning if we bus for bumblebees shine the boots of the geese we’ll make the jingling sound that means we got the means to travel on once we ease on to the road a goodbye been had, a goodbye been told we’ll find the free and far the flying birch knows where we are no more bus or shine no more work for dimes no more feeling blue and there’s no more missing you what use in having home when heaven roasts at the reach of tongue the road provides a change of eyes let loose in what confines we’ll ride the trucking earth instead of standing in the surf we’ll meet so many living things instead of dwelling in our dreams if you go i say i’ll go and we’ll leave all this in the morning the flies be picking at my mind and the mold of the left behind but now no more we’ll close the door and look ahead until we’re dead bye, bye we’re pushing ground you tangerine, tangible town
5.
River 04:02
hold my head in your hand lift my lips onto these spread my spine and align so i can reach your eye you think you gave a kiss a gift of heat but look how straight i sit i see more than i did i grazed your back with my hand i called for all they couldn’t fight for you bu they’ll heal what hurts river, wind and curve current catch what you drop if it falls into me i will, i will, i will carry as i cry
6.
Electric Sky 05:16
oh, electric sky stain my eye blue every waft i get of you oh, fallen leaves, you’re far from dead ring my ears familiar as a mother’s breath untie my mind, unravel a few secrets of this life oh, sun i know you so well i know a hundred ways you fall, float, shoot and seep through the air oh, sun you know me so well you know every strand of my hair and still you leave me stunned to find a little more than warmth oh, wind that wanders the world gathers the scents and sings you are what bathes me i know you how you know me and i’ll never know you as well as i do now and i’ll never know you as well as i did when a child and i’ll never know you as well as i will when i die oh, mossy tree that holds me in this moment, your pulse is mine oh, mossy tree that holds me i love how old you are, how strong you are how humble and silent you stand with layers and layers of the stories of seasons i am dying to know, but i’ll let it go
7.
tonight i’ll prepare for the last meal the last whispered grace my fingers will fold on the belly’s field and i’ll hear every hair hit the hay tonight i’ll take down the written wall each line on the page, a nest in the paint the letters will fold as the fire will burn and i’ll hear every word crawl and faint let the ground fill my back, let my spirit lift thank my body, my noble steed let the spiraling road lead me back to my home lead the night into day, lead my death into birth what i carved in caves what i buried with bones what i swallowed down whole every thread that i’ve sewn what i gathered from grace what i made from mistakes what i’ve thrown to the wind every day that i’ve lived will holy yet only bleach the dog’s hide and i trust it’ll run from the heart run, run, run
8.
all the world in bloom i paint the well a pale, pale white my hands are full of snow if i let go, where would water fall all the world in bloom i can’t hold myself from you quiet my heart all the wood will soon burn up lay the well with white pound the cloud a brick of clay pour the worry in wash clean of the dry, dry spill all the world in bloom all the world the ghost of you if i carried rain do you think i could turn gold to green
9.
Healing 07:07
mother, i’m hurting mother, i’m hurt mother, i don’t know what to do mother, i’m storing all of the pain into the center of myself so when the carver chips at my skin it’ll take him the longest to find where it is mother, i’m healing mother, i’m healed mother, i found it right where i left it mother, i’ll write it mother, i’ll sing mother, i’ll burn it right to my skin it’ll give my the faith, the faith, that it’s there to find
10.
i wrote you a letter and already you have it even though i didn’t send it i’m glad it’s in your hands there’s a snowbed full of bare, oak branches tangled by the bare, oak trees in the middle of the country, the winter here is black and white but there’s a blend of gold from the barking dogs racing far to find – what – well, we can only guess the lakefront folds the oldest colors far more longer than the sea belonging to its own sky where the universe is bleached on top the shoreline, feel the gray is reaching farther and the blue below is what i see when the morning breaks my dream if my love gets chased by bounding, brightening dogs and its footprints lose their mark by the morning fog well this patch on the trail is snug with blinding light and it’s somehow lit from the gray above, from the gray above

credits

released October 22, 2008

Eleanor Murray - guitar, vocals
Pamela Margon - violin
Ben Kamen - bass, guitar, harp, celeste
Austin Cooper - drums

Engineered and produced by Ben Kamen. Mastered by Evan Hashi. Anonymous Monk Records.

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eleanor murray Olympia, Washington

Songwriter, producer, and artist Eleanor Murray has spent the past twelve years creating and recording music out of the Pacific Northwest. Informed by folk tradition while adhering to no rules, Eleanor Murray’s music exists in a genre all its own. Her songs are often structurally complicated, while also sparse and open, full of warmth and light. Each album’s sonic landscape is completely its own. ... more

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